So, how are you?
Did you answer, “I’m fine, how are you?”
That’s how most of us do respond when asked that question.
This week I read a great article that truly had me thinking and which has me considering how I respond to that question in future.
Whether it’s a friend, relative, acquaintance, or even a stranger who asks us that question, how often do we really think about our response and provide anything other than the pat answer? I know I’m certainly guilty of always using that ubiquitous reply. But wouldn’t it be interesting — even fulfilling — to give a genuine and considered response. It needn’t be lengthy, but perhaps a bit more revealing of ourselves.
As the article suggested, “Start small. You don’t have to be elaborate or unload your entire life story. Even just a simple, two-sentence response can be meaningful. Sometimes it will lead to a deeper conversation, and sometimes it won’t. Either way, sharing who you are and what your life is all about seems easiest when you start small.”
The article also suggests to sometimes ask a different question. I have implemented that in recent years. In fact, it too has become easy or standard, “What’s new in your life this week (or lately)?” And that does sometimes invite the person to begin a conversation or respond with something of interest and we take it from there. But some people are simply taken off guard and have no response or say, “nothing.” [brakes screeching] Oh well, I tried.
Back to the article. They do provide a list of ways a person could respond that are far more interesting and may invite an engaging conversation. At the very least, even if a full conversation isn’t begun, it will certainly be far more interesting for you and the asker.
The hard part is actually remembering some of the cues. But I’m going to try to give pause when asked that question and really make an effort to share some little tidbit of interest rather than the pat, “I’m fine, how are you?” I have no doubt I’ll forget or fumble like a quarterback with frozen fingers, but I’m going to give it a try.
So I’m going to go back to the beginning and pretend you’ve asked me how I am.
After more than a year hiatus from knitting, not only have I completed two projects in the past two weeks, I’ve also begun knitting a pair of socks. It feels so good to be knitting again. It’s meditative and the feeling of productivity really cheers me. Not only that, I’m rather tickled that all my pants are loose.
And you, how ARE you this week?
I am wonderful, as I woke up this morning. 🙂
Love the topic of this post.
So happy to see all the beautiful knit happenings. Those socks look fantastic.
For me it depends on who is asking, time and place. If there is time for a short conversation I’ll try to make my response more interesting. If it is just a formality I give the standard response. When I’m asking I really do want to know and try to convey this by emphasis and tone. Now I’m dealing with chronic pain I’ve told good friends not to ask because I’m boring myself, I know if I need to share they will be there. My dilemma is at the grocery checkout. I always reply by asking how their day is going, sometimes I will compliment on a new hairstyle etc but I wonder if I’m distracting them. To answer your question, learning to manage said pain has been a confidence booster, I’ve finally learnt to cherish each day and allow time for play. So happy you have got back to knitting.
I’m good, how ’bout yourself?
that’s my story and i’m sticking to it. i tried to depart from the pat answer on several occasions and didn’t have a pleasant end to the departure. people require me to be fine.
there are a few rare people in my life who really want to know and to them, i try to be as honest and optimistic as possible, because even the rare ones who really want to know, what the answer to be optimistic.
gotta love the 3rd image because of the graphics drawing on what i think is a vase, even though all of them are superb